It's been a month since Round Rock ISD let out of school.  My two youngest children have been home for an additional three weeks on top of that month.

Before summer started, I had a bucket list of summer to dos I wanted to accomplish with my kids. It wasn't anything written or detailed, but in the back of my mind, I wanted to do a few things. 

Then summer actually started and real life kicked in.

I had all four home with me, almost, all the time.  I didn't have them signed up for any camps for the first three weeks of summer (which should have been the first indication that I needed to re-think my summer plans).  The fighting, bickering, whining, and screaming started on a daily basis.  My patience was being spread so thin I could practically see through it.  And my air conditioning broke.  In Texas.  In the summer heat.  We had to replace everything for both units or pretend we were living in the 1800s and sweat it out.  On top of that, I started teaching more taekwondo classes over the summer and still had my photography business to keep going.  I totally had time to sit around and eat bon bons all day (insert sarcasm font here).

Not surprisingly, the last shred of patience wore too thin, and I'd had enough of the whining, bickering, fighting, and general presence of my 4 children. The oldest two lost gaming privileges for a week.  The youngest two got shipped off to preschool part time again.  And I realized for as much as I love my children, I cannot spend 24/7 with them for my own sanity.

So I came up with a new bucket list for the summer.  And here it is...

• Keep the children alive and well until school starts up again

That's it!  And I think it's a pretty good goal.

I love my kids; I truly do.  But I'm not perfect.  And I desperately need time away from them.  I was sitting in the kitchen last Friday, surrounded by my kids at 4:30pm, texting my husband asking when he was coming home, and realized I need time away.  I want adult alone time.  Granted it wasn't happening right then and there, and I can't just disappear for a few days randomly (although that would be really nice!).  I crave quiet, adult time, where I can just relax and not be asked the same question 5 times in a row hoping my answer will change (cause it doesn't).

So my summer bucket list has been incinerated, and I'm completely ok with it.  I'm not the Pinterest Mom which will hand make games for a summer full of fun.  I'm the type that kicks my kids out of the house, tells them to stay on the property and enjoys a blissful hour of quiet while they play outside using their imaginations and random objects as weapons.  I let them come in for water and to use the bathroom, but for the most part, I want them outside.  I supervise from the comfort of inside the house.

My summer bucket list is a failure.  And you know what?  I don't care.  It's fine.  All four of my children will be normal, functioning adults without the thousands of extra things they could be doing over the summer.  Instead, they are making memories of playing outside and just enjoying their childhood.  And that's all that matters.

So if you're like me and you're a summer bucket list failure, raise your head high and high five yourself!  We're all in this together!